Episode: 13, Overachieving, March 12th, 1980
The script of episode 13, Overachieving.





CUT TO: Eastland Living room. Blair is painting a picture, Cindy is sitting in a chair with her baseball glove. Mrs. Garrett, Natalie and Tootie come out of her bedroom. Natalie and Tootie have curlers in their hair and Tootie has wrinkle cream on her face.

MRS. GARRETT

Iíll bet if we put our heads together, we can get Channel 13. (They laugh and they sit at the table. Mrs. Garrett examines Blairís painting) Oh, say, all right, Blair! You really caught the action.

BLAIR

Thanks, Mrs. Garrett. I want to hang it for Career Day. I call it ďThe EndĒ.

TOOTIE

And heís sure got a cute one.

(Molly comes in with her guitar)

MOLLY

Mrs. Garrett! Mrs. Garrett!

MRS. GARRETT

Yes, Molly?

MOLLY

Hereís Mr. Bradleyís list of the speakers with the subjects weíll be talking about. Can you tune my guitar again?

MRS. GARRETT

(Taking the list and the guitar) Oh, sure honey. Letís see here. (She goes to the couch and plays a tune and sings really loudly to the notes) Here you are, dear.

MOLLY

Thanks. You can do everything!

MRS. GARRETT

Naturally. (She looks at the list) This is quite an impressive line of speakers. A doctor, an architect, Natalie, I see your sisterís coming to talk about her exciting career as a stewardess.

NATALIE

It sure is exciting. Sheís got two first class boyfriends, and one in coach.

MRS. GARRETT

And Tootie, your fatherís coming to talk about a career for women in law. Your motherís a lawyer too, isnít she?

TOOTIE

Yeah, she has to stay in Washington to defend some crooks. (Putting cream on her face)

NATALIE

(Taking out some rollers) In or out of the government?

TOOTIE

Natalie, will you hurry up? I gotta look good for Daddy.

MRS. GARRETT

Whatís the rush? Career day isnít until tomorrow.

TOOTIE

Daddyís coming up early because heís never seen Eastland. Heís also never seen me since I became aÖsex symbol.

(Mr. Bradley comes in)

MR. BRADLEY

Hello there.

MRS. GARRETT

Morning, Mr. Bradley

MR. BRADLEY

(Ushering in Mr. Ramsey) Come in, Mr. Ramsey.

TOOTIE

Daddy!!!

MR. RAMSEY

Tootie!!! (They hug each other. He gets some cream on his face from Tootieís kiss) Oooh! (Wipes off cream) Can we try that again, without the goop?

TOOTIE

But youíll see my wrinkles!

MR. RAMSEY

(Wiping stuff off her face) Oh, youíre aging beautifully. For a woman your age. (He kisses her cheek)

TOOTIE

Daddy, meet my friends, Cindy.

CINDY

Hi!

TOOTIE

Molly

MOLLY

Hello

TOOTIE

Natalie (Natalie waves) This is Mr. Garrett, our house mother.

MR. RAMSEY

My pleasure. (Extends his hand)

MRS. GARRETT

(Shaking it) Oh, how do you do, Mr. Ramsey?

MR. RAMSEY

Fine.

TOOTIE

Mrs. Garrett was teaching me all the inside tips for when I go to beauty school.

MR. RAMSEY

Beauty school?

MR. BRADLEY

Weíre really anxious to hear your career day talk. It must be exciting being a legal advisor to two presidents.

MR. RAMSEY

Yeah, you get to meet new people every four years.

MRS. GARRETT

If they last that long.

MR. BRADLEY

Girls, this is Rifle Ramsey, all-American quarterback at Syracuse and Phi Beta Kappa. (Mrs. Garrett applauds) Maybe later we can talk a little football. I was a pretty fair receiver myself at Allegheny Teachers. They used to call me Crazy Legs.

MR. RAMSEY

Yes, I can believe that, but Crazy Legs, what Iíd really like to talk about is how my lovely daughter is doing in school, and just maybe, I can find out why passed that opportunity to take speed reading.

TOOTIE

It went by too fast. Anyhow, Mrs. Garrett who teaching me something really important. (Holds up her hand) How to julliette my nails.

MRS. GARRETT

That keeps the nails from breaking. Every good manicurist knows that.

MR. RAMSEY

Thatís quite an accomplishment, I suppose.

MR. BRADLEY

All right, girls! Letís get to work on those career day essays. (The girls go upstairs)

TOOTIE

Daddy, youíre gonna be really prouder of me than you think. What Iím learning from Mrs. Garrett will get me into any beauty school I want.

MR. RAMSEY

Hmmm, I see Mrs. Garrett hasnít been neglecting you. Young lady, Iíd like to talk to you about your goals.

TOOTIE

In a minute, Daddy. Right now, my goal is to look like Diana Ross. Gotta skate!

(She goes upstairs)

MR. BRADLEY

She really is something, isnít she?

MR. RAMSEY

Yes, but Iíd like her to become something. May we discuss her academic program?

MRS. GARRETT

Itís been a real pleasure meeting you, Mr. Ramsey. Iíd better go help her. Sheís my girl. Iíll skate. (She goes upstairs)

MR. RAMSEY

Does Mrs. Garrett have much influence on Tootie?

MR. BRADLEY

Mrs. Garrett says jump, Tootie says ďHow highĒ. She doesnít say it very often. (Mr. Bradley and Mr. Ramsey sit down on the couch)

MR. RAMSEY

Mr. Bradley, we sent Tootie to Eastland to prepare for college, not a beauty school.

MR. BRADLEY

We know that.

MR. RAMSEY

But sheís not going to get there by having your housekeeper as a role model.

MR. BRADLEY

Mrs. Garrett isnít a housekeeper. Sheís a house mother.

MR. RAMSEY

Whatís the difference? Sheís a domestic. I know all about domestics. My mother worked as a chambermaid in a hotel to help me through college.

MR. BRADLEY

Well, fortunately, today, Tootieís opportunities are unlimited.

MR. RAMSEY

Well then, letís keep them that way.

MR. BRADLEY

I hear what youíre saying.

MR. RAMSEY

No, you donít. What Iím saying is that Mrs. Garrettís taken Tootieís mind off worthwhile goals. All she cares about is superficial ones. I want it stopped. So I would appreciate it if you tell Mrs. Garrett to stay away from my daughter.

CUT TO: Mrs. Garrettís room. All the girls are sitting on the bed. Mrs. Garrett comes in with refreshments.

MRS. GARRETT

Okay, one cupcake to a customer. You can help yourself to cocoa though. Have you all finished your essays?

GIRLS

Yeah!

NANCY

Iím going to be a psychiatrist in Hollywood. Dr. Nancy Olsen- Shrink to the Stars.

SUE ANN

Thatís a great way to get a man on the couch.

BLAIR

Well, I have my future all mapped out. After my one-woman exhibit in the Museum of Modern Art, and my Oscar winning performance as an actress, I think Iíll just settle down and marry the president of General Motors.

MOLLY

Thatíll never happen.

BLAIR

And why not?

MOLLY

Because Iím going to BE the president of General Motors.

(All the girls laugh)

SUE ANN

Well, Iím headed for a career as a marine biologist. Iíve always been interested in fish.

TOOTIE

And surfers, Sue Ann, with muscular tan bodies and golden blond hair.

SUE ANN

Tootie, youíve been reading my diary again!

TOOTIE

I told you to keep it locked. Iím weak!

(Knock on the door)

MRS. GARRETT

Come in. (Mr. Bradley comes in)

MR. BRADLEY

Mrs. Garrett

MRS. GARRETT

Mr. Bradley, come in.

MR. BRADLEY

Troupeís all here, huh? Ready for Career Day, girls?

GIRLS

Yeah! Yeah!

MOLLY

I decided Iím going to be the Joan Baez of the 80ís. Listen (She strums her guitar) The skies are choky, the lakes are chunky, the oceans are gunky, I feel like a lab monkey, Stop grossing up America, you turkeys.

(The girls applaud)

MR. BRADLEY

Wonderful, Molly. Tootie, have you decided what you want to be when you graduate from Eastland and go to college?

TOOTIE

Well, Iím not going to college, Mr. Bradley. Right, Nat?

NATALIE

Right.

MR. BRADLEY

Youíre not?

NATALIE

No, weíre both gonna study with Vidal Sassoon to learn advanced sassooning.

TOOTIE

Itís all in my essay. Weíre gonna open a beauty salon and call it ďToot and NatísĒ.

NATALIE

Or we might call it ďNat andTootísĒ

MR. BRADLEY

Listen, I got to discuss next weekís menu with Mrs. Garrett (He shoos them out. The girls get the message and leaves)

SUE ANN

And, Mr. Bradley, if you plan on putting some chemical in our food to make us lose interest in boys, it wonít work. (She leaves)

MRS. GARRETT

Next weekís menu, huh? All right, Mr. Bradley. Tell me, whatís on your mind?

MR. BRADLEY

Well, this isnít easy, Edna. Mr. Ramsey is very upset at the way that Tootieís interests are developing, and he blames someone she spends a lot of her time with. He doesnít want her to associate with that person anymore.

MRS. GARRETT

Really? Not Natalie?

MR. BRADLEY

No.

MRS. GARRETT

Well, who is it?

MR. BRADLEY

EdnaÖyouíre doing a wonderful job around here.

MRS. GARRETT

Molly?

MR. BRADLEY

No one has your delicate touch with cocoa.

MRS. GARRETT

Cindy?

MR. BRADLEY

None of that yucky stuff floating at the top.

MRS. GARRETT

Well, it couldnít be Blair, Sue Ann, or Nancy?

MR. BRADLEY

Ordinarily, I never drink cocoa. (He sips)

MRS. GARRETT

Thereís no one left.

MR. BRADLEY

Yes, there is.

MRS. GARRETT

Unless itís me.

(Mr. Bradley nods his head and Mrs. Garrett is shocked)

CUT TO: Living room. The next day. Mrs. Garrett is setting up chairs for the speeches. Tootie comes downstairs)

TOOTIE

Good morning, Mrs. Garrett.

MRS. GARRETT

(Setting down a chair) Good morning, Tootie.

TOOTIE

Daddyís picking me up for breakfast. Is he here yet?

MRS. GARRETT

Havenít seen him.

TOOTIE

Good. That means thereíll be time for you to teach me how to pluck my eyebrows.

MRS. GARRETT

Not today, dear.

TOOTIE

But if I do it myself, Iím gonna look like Mr. Spock.

MRS. GARRETT

No, Iím sorry.

TOOTIE

I thought you always got a kick out of showing me how to do things.

MRS. GARRETT

Oh, I do, dear. Believe me. But I just canít. Sorry.

TOOTIE

Sheesh. (She sadly goes upstairs. At the same time, Blair and Sue Ann are coming down)

BLAIR & SUE ANN

Hi, Tootie! (Tootie just walks upstairs)

BLAIR

I wonder whatís bothering Tootie. Someone put glue in her wheels?

MRS. GARRETT

Guess so.

SUE ANN

Blair, arenít you going to tell Mrs. Garrett about your new painting?

BLAIR

Oh, yeah, yeah. Iím going to paint a male model who will be totally naked.

MRS. GARRETT

Oh, thatís nice dear.

BLAIR

No, no, no. You see, you were supposed to say ďIn the nude?Ē and then Iíd say ďYeah, itís a horseĒ.

SUE ANN

It cracks me up.

MRS. GARRETT

Oh, Iím sorry girls. Itís really very funny. A horse, I get it. (She gives a fake laugh, then subsides)

BLAIR

Whatís wrong, Mrs. Garrett? It has something to do with Tootie, doesnít it?

MRS. GARRETT

I canít lie. Mr. Ramsey doesnít want me to spend any more time with Tootie.

SUE ANN

I canít believe that!

BLAIR

Thatís ridiculous.

MRS. GARRETT

Youíre right. It is ridiculous, isnít it?

BOTH GIRLS

Yeah! Yeah!

MRS. GARRETT

What am I moping around for? Iím gonna give olí Rifle Ramsey a couple of shots of Garrett gunpowder.

(At that moment, Mr. Ramsey comes in as they laugh and Blair motions that he is right behind her)

SUE ANN

Behind you.

(Mrs. Garrett sheepishly turns around and sees him standing there)

MRS. GARRETT

Oh, Mr. Ramsey. You didnít happen to hear what I just said, didnít you?

MR. RAMSEY

Iím afraid I did.

MRS. GARRETT

Well, good. Girls

SUE ANN

Oh, right. (They run upstairs)

MRS. GARRETT

Mr. Ramsey, I think itís time we cleared the air. Whatís this about your not wanting me to spend any time with Tootie?

MR. RAMSEY

I did say that, Mrs. Garrett, yes. I apologize. Youíre not the problem here.

MRS. GARRETT

Iím glad you realize that.

MR. RAMSEY

Youíre just the symptom. Since yesterday, I made some pretty thorough evaluations of Eastland and what it has to offer Tootie. Then I had the pleasure of reading her career essay entitled ďMy future in FingernailsĒ.

MRS. GARRETT

But that essay isÖ

MR. RAMSEY

Please, Mrs. Garrett. Iíve made up my mind. After Career Day talks, Iím taking Tootie out of Eastland.

FADE OUT

FADE IN: The Dorm Room. Tootie is packing her things. The girls come in)

SUE ANN

Tootie, is it true? Is your father pulling you out of school?

TOOTIE

Yeah. In a couple of hours, itíll be ďToot, Toot, Tootie, GoodbyeĒ.

MOLLY

How can your dad take you out of Eastland? This dump is a great school!

TOOTIE

Daddy says that heís concerned Iím not reaching my potential here.

BLAIR

Itís so much different if your parents are divorced. They just send the money and smile a lot.

TOOTIE

Daddy says Iím not pushing hard enough. Iím not motivated. He said ďTootie, youíve got the potential to be a young Margaret ThatcherĒ.

CINDY

Whoís Margaret Thatcher?

TOOTIE

Thatís what I asked. Heh, big mistake.

BLAIR

Everyone knows who Margaret Thatcher is. Sheís one of the ten worst dressed women in the world.

SUE ANN

Sheís the prime minister of England.

BLAIR

Oh, That too.

CINDY

Tootie, what school is you dad going to put you in?

TOOTIE

Some school in Washington where the kids of foreign diplomats go. Iíll bet my class picture will look like a UNICEF poster.

NATALIE

Well, I guess that means the end of ďNat and Tootís Beauty SalonĒ, huh?

TOOTIE

No way, weíre still gonna have our beauty shop. Itís just that Daddy wants me to become the President of the United States first.

(Natalie goes to a trunk and pulls out a dummy with a blond wig on it)

NATALIE

Tootie, I want you to have this to remember me by.

TOOTIE

Oh, Nat. The wig your mom gave us to practice on. Gee, what a friend. Gee, I always wanted to know what it was like to be (She puts on the wig) a blonde.

NATALIE

You look just like Suzanne Somers.

MOLLY

Yeah, another blonde with black roots.

(Tootie and Natalie hug)

TOOTIE

Iíll only wear it on special occasions.

(She takes off the wig. Mrs. Garrett comes in)

MRS. GARRETT

All right, come on now girls. Itís almost time for career day talks.

NANCY

Mrs. Garrett, youíre a good talker. Can you convince Tootieís father to let her stay?

MRS. GARRETT

At this point, Iím the last person heíll listen to.

MOLLY

Nancy? Where have you been? Donít you know that Tootieís father doesnít like this school because Mrs. Garrettís the reason why Tootieís such a dummy?

TOOTIE

Whoever though my own daddy could be so mean?

MRS. GARRETT

Oh no, Tootie. Thatís not true. Try to understand your father. My goodness, heís worked awfully hard to get you where you are.

TOOTIE

Then why is he taking me out of Eastland when he knows I love it here? Mrs. Garrett, Iím really going to miss you. (She hugs her)

MRS. GARRETT

So, sweetie. Iíll miss you too. Oh, just listen to us. Just listen to us. Weíre not gonna give Tootie up without a fight.

(The girls agree)

MOLLY

Hey! I got an idea. Weíll chain Tootie to the front gate, just like Jon Voight in Coming Home.

MRS. GARRETT

I got it! First weíll go downstairs and convince Tootieís father to let her stay by using something he respects. Our brains!

TOOTIE

Our brains? Oh, we are in troubbbbbbble!

CUT TO: The Living Room. Mr. Ramsey is giving his speech with the girls in the audience.

MR. RAMSEY

Ö.A Law career is like an old jalopy. You really want it to work, you gotta get behind it and push. Thank you very much.

(The Audience applauds)

MR. BRADLEY

(Standing up) Wonderful! Wonderful! Now, weíll open the floor to questions, and girls, nothing personal like ďWhat you asked Natalieís sisterĒ.

(Blair raises her hand)

MR. RAMSEY

Blair.

BLAIR

Mr. Ramsey. Isnít it illegal to yank a child out of school against her will?

MR. RAMSEY

Not to my knowledge. (Sue Ann raises her hand) Young lady?

SUE ANN

And if she loves that school, isnít that alienation of affection?

MR. BRADLEY

Now hold it, girls. I know what youíre driving at, but this is not the time nor place to discuss Tootieís situation.

NANCY

Mr. Bradley, we have to discuss it now!

TOOTIE

Yeah, Mr. Bradley. In ten minutes, Iím gone. So how about it, Daddy? Can we get on my case?

MR. RAMSEY

Sure, I can handle a forum. Fire away!

NATALIE

Can I talk? I got plenty to say.

BLAIR

No Natalie. I know youíre gonna tell Mr. Ramsey what a wonderful and loyal friend Tootie is, but we gotta stick to the facts.

CINDY

Thatís right, we canít stoop to emotions, like how much we love her.

SUE ANN

And how generous she is with her care packages.

NANCY

And how she makes us laugh.

NATALIE

I wonít say any of those things (She sits down)

BLAIR

Molly.

MOLLY

Mr. Ramsey. I like to present Exhibit A, which is Tootieís grades. I got them from Mrs. Packardís office who is always truthful, even when her dentures wobble when she talks. ďA, A, B, A. Cooperative, enthusiastic, talks too muchÖĒ Uh-oh. Thatís gym, but that doesnít count. (She hands the paper to him and sits down. Everyone applauds)

MR. RAMSEY

Thank you very much, Molly. I know that Tootieís grades are good, and I also knows that she talks quite a bit.

SUE ANN

Mr. Ramsey, Eastlandís a terrific place to learn. You wonít find a tougher school anywhere.

NATALIE

Yeah. Before it existed, my mom would have found it.

MR. RAMSEY

Look, girls. I truly appreciate how you feel about Tootie, but I still donít think that Eastland offers the challenge that she needs.

MR. BRADLEY

Hold it, Mr. Ramsey. Iím gonna call you on that.

TOOTIE

Uh-oh.

MR. BRADLEY

Up until now, Iíve been rather intimidated by what you have accomplished. But we have accomplished a lot here at Eastland, too. This is not a school for rich spoiled girls.

(The girls all look at Blair)

BLAIR

Why is everyone looking at me?

MR. BRADLEY

I think that Eastland offers the kind of challenges that Tootie needs. Our teachers are ranked highest in the state. Weíve got a 90% college placement. Our graduates represent a wide variety of professions throughout the entire country.

(The girls agree and applaud)

MR. RAMSEY

Mr. Bradley. I truly appreciate what youíve said, too, but I must stand by my decision. Tootie, are you all packed?

(Tootie nods)

BLAIR

I guess we didnít convince the jury, didnít we, Mrs. Garrett?

MRS. GARRETT

You did just fine, Blair. Mr. Ramsey, Can I see you and Tootie for a moment in my chambers?

MR. RAMSEY

Oh course, Mrs. Garrett.

TOOTIE

If Iím not out in five minutes, raffle off my skates.

CUT TO: Mrs. Garrettís room. Tootie and her father are sitting in a chair.

MRS. GARRETT

Mr. Ramsey. Iím sure you know a lot about education. Are you sure you know so much about what young girls think? When I was Tootieís age, I wanted to be so many things. A ballerina, A scientist, a jockey. Fortunately for the horse, I changed my mind. But changing your mind is par for the course when youíre 12 years old.

MR. RAMSEY

Mrs. Garrett, I understand what youíre saying, butÖ

MRS. GARRETT

Please, Iím on a roll. Mr. Ramsey, fess up. Didnít you have a dream or two when you were 12 years old? Hmmmm?

MR. RAMSEY

No, I wasnít dreaming. I was preparing for a serious and meaningful future.

TOOTIE

Daddy, arenít you forgetting about Buffalo Ramsey?

MRS. GARRETT

Buffalo Ramsey?

TOOTIE

Oh yeah. Grandmaís got photo albums full of olí Buffalo with boots on, twirling his rope. She said Daddy used to roll in the dust just so he could like a real cowboy.

MRS. GARRETT

Mr. Ramsey, if you leave her here with us, I can promise you she can end up with a career she loves. Let us help her with her first few steps, please?

CUT TO: Living room. Everyone is talking and Nancy is listening at the door.

BLAIR

Nancy? They are having a private conversation. (Nancy shushes her) You canít eavesdrop like that!

MR. BRADLEY

Of course not.

BLAIR

This is the way to eavesdrop. (She picks up a glass and puts it on the door. Nancy picks one up as well and listens in. The door opens and Tootie comes out) Hi!

TOOTIE

Guess what? IíM STAYING!!!!!

(Everyone gives her a group hug as the episode ends)